|what a wonderful charicature of intimacy
||[Oct. 20th, 2006|10:08 pm]
Sunday- went to go see Trey in Asheville for C's 21st birthday.
Monday- attempted to go to school but still hungover as hell
Tuesday- made the biggest mistake of my entire life
Wednesday- cried all day. went to school. cried some more.
Thursday- woke up. cried. went to go see aerosmith and motley crue in nashville. partied down.
Friday- returned from nashville. cried. took a nap.
this week so far has been the weirdest week of my entire life. i am horribly depressed. i cannot believe i let myself do this. i cannot even believe it. all i wanna do is go back to tuesday...go back to when things weren't so, goddamn, i don't know. my head feels as though it's about to explode though. and my stomach is constantly churning.
i didn't eat at all on wed. because i was afraid i was going to throw up i felt so guilty.
i need advice. i need help. i need a friend. i need someone to tell me to do the right thing here because for the first time in forever, i don't know what the right thing is.
god, if you can hear me. please don't let my heart hurt like this anymore...please, please, let me be free again. i can't stand the thought of completely losing control again. it breaks me.
and i finally just put all my pieces back together.